My memories

It's been a while since I've posted anything on this poor little blog of mine, but I thought I would share some intimate memories. March is an emotional month for my family and I.  My dad passed away this month and for some reason it hurts so much more this year than it has in the past. I'm not sure if it's because I wish so badly that my dad was able to be here and enjoy his grandchildren, he would have been a wonderful grandpa to them. That alone hurts, but also because I miss his voice, his laughter, his smell, his wisdom, the way he called my mother Beautiful (that was her name).  I. Just. Miss. Him. 

Fortunately for me I have the best memory ever. I can remember everything from my past and for this particular month I remember the weeks and days that led to his death. March 2, 2007, I remember sitting in my room cleaning out my entertainment center when my phone rang. My parents had gone back to Tuscon for my fathers 100 day testing to see if the cancer had returned.  My mom and dad spent 2 1/2 months in 2006 treating his cancer with a stem cell transplant in hopes that it would rid him of the poison that was making him ill. I picked up my phone to my dad saying "well I got some bad news, cancers back." My heart stopped, I didn't have any words to say. My dad had fought cancer for so long and I knew what this meant.  He said that there were two options, "I can either fight the cancer, more chemo, more hospital stays or go home and let it takes its course." Crying, I don't even know why I asked because with the tone of his voice I knew what this meant. "What are you going to do?" "Little one, I'm tired, I'm just tired." We left the conversation like that. Hanging up the phone I sat there and cried. As I cry now, it hurt, knowing that we had a limited amount of time to spend together. 

I always think about my dad, it's second nature. Like breathing, he comes into my thoughts where I reminisce of the past and think about what he's doing now.  I wish my dad was still here, but that's not what Heavenly Father had planned for him, for us.  So this month I will be sharing the memories I have leading to his death and funeral.  You'll have to bare with me as my puncuation and grammer suck, it's hard to type and cry, and I won't be able to share any of this without crying.

Avree's Birth Story

 I love writing and reliving the birth of my babies.  We record the birth of our children and write down every detail as my labor progresses until birth.  I enjoy being pregnant and love the feeling of my baby inside my belly, it really is indescribable, but for as much as I love being pregnant and having my big belly I was more than ready to have my sweet girl. Being pregnant with Avree was SO different than with Ryder.  She was wild.  Constantly moving and keeping me awake throughout the night.  She was resting on my belly with her back side so every time Ryder wanted to cuddle or be held it was uncomfortable.  On top of that, not being able to sleep through the night and taking care of an 18 month old, active toddler, to say I was beyond ready to have her is an understatement. 

A week before my due date I scheduled an induction on May 24.  Making this decision was hard because I really wanted to go into labor on my own and with inductions you never know how things will turn out or how long it will take.  With Ryder, I went into labor on my own, but since my cervix was only dilated to a 1 and 50% effaced (for weeks), my doctor and I decided it would be best to get induced because I wasn’t willing to go more than a day past my due date.  I was scheduled to be at the hospital at 10 p.m. on the 23 and have these gels inserted in my cervix to “encourage” it to change.  Until then I walked every single day for hours to get my body into labor and the day of my due date was no exception.  I was up bright and early trying every last attempt to go into labor.  I walked around EVERYWHERE, and by the end of the day I was exhausted.  I also bounced on a birthing ball, walked up and down stairs and TMI but I did an enema, pretty nasty stuff, but I wasn’t willing to down castor oil.  And to my surprise none of that worked.  I called the hospital to make sure there was a room available for me at 10 and there wasn’t.  They said they would call when there was one available and so I just slept.  They called and by 12 a.m. we were at the hospital waiting to be checked in.  By 1:00 we were in our room ready to start the first of three gels.  These gels are inserted every 2 hours; you lie down for an hour and walk around for an hour.  By 3:30 my nurse was ready to check me and I hadn’t dilated.  At. All.  Since there was no change and my energy was completely exerted, my nurse inserted the next gel and decided to just let me sleep. She came in at 5:50, checked me and I was barely dilated to a 2, she inserted the last set of the gels and let me sleep.  I was woken up at 8 by my doctor who checked me and I was dilated to a 2-3 and 60% effaced, she decided that she would break my water and start me on a low dose of pitocin.  I was sure that since my water had broken I would be delivering Avree within hours. (Again with Ryder, after my water broke, 3.5 hours later he was delivered.)  My nurse would come in every hour or so and up my dose of pitocin which didn’t seem to help because by noon I was ONLY dilated to a 3!!  I was starting to lose hope that I would be meeting my little girl anytime soon.  I mean everything was taking FOR-EV-ER, my labor was progressing so slowly and my contractions weren’t all that painful.  Then finally around 2 things started to change.

Up until then I was able to breathe through each contraction and sometimes I wouldn’t even feel them.  After 2, I started having back labor and had to have Nick massage my lower back, while I bounced on the birthing ball or laid on my side.  It felt really good for a while, but the contractions started getting more intense and I could no longer breathe through them.  For some reason I always tell myself that I am going to have a natural birth without pain meds.  Never again.  By the time I asked for the anesthesiologist, he wasn’t available.  Which always seems to be the case for me.  This meant I had to wait for him to finish with the other patient (s), while my contractions were becoming closer and more intense. After putting in a request for the anesthesiologist the nurse came back and wanted to check and see how far along I was.  By this point I was groaning through each contraction and shedding some tears here and there, while Nick was massaging my lower back.  The thought of me simply lying on my back while she checked was not going to happen.  I probably gave her the dirtiest look and thought to myself "are you out of your mind!” when she asked.  I replied very firmly “No, when I get my epidural you can check, until then you'll have to wait.”  She wasn’t too pleased with that answer, but there was no way she was going anywhere near my cervix.  Finally at 3:00 relief came and I was able to relax.  For me with the epidurals both times have been completely different.  This time, my lower back and my belly were completely numb, my legs and vaginal area were kind of numb too. I was still able to move both of my legs and had feeling in my vaginal area.  After the epidural kicked in, the nurse drained my bladder and then checked my cervix at 3:30, which I was sure I had dilated quite a bit, but to my amazement I was a big 4!  (To truly understand my "lack of patience" you should read Ryder's Birth) I. Was. Shocked.  To put this into perspective; at 8 a.m. I was dilated to a 2-3, had my water broken at noon and was 3 cm, and at 3:30 I was at 4.  This was completely unexpected, I was sure that my cervix was further than that.  Anyone who says that there subsequent labors goes by faster than their first, lied.  At least it wasn’t the case for me.  My labor was taking a lot longer than I had anticipated, and I knew that it would be hours, if longer, before I was going to have my baby.  So I decided to relax and sleep and let Avree come when she was good and ready.  At 4:30 I started feeling the urge to push and thought to myself it was nothing.  But it happened again and again, and I told Nick and my mom “I’m feeling the urge to push, like I need to poop.”  I told my nurse that I felt like I had to poop and was feeling pressure down there.  She looked at me like I was out of my mind, and I didn’t blame her for not having the urgency to check.  Lets be honest, it has taken 14 hours for me to dilate from 1 cm to 4.  I wasn’t even sure why I was feeling the urge to push, but knew I needed to be checked.  At 4:45 I was a 10!! She said Avree's head was right there and was immediatley on the phone calling my doctor.  I was so excited and in disbelief that my body was finally ready to have her.  I couldn’t believe that it took an hour and fifteen minutes for me to dilate 6 centimeters.  The nurses were getting everything ready for when my doctor arrived and by 5:13 I started pushing.  Four pushes later at 5:20 p.m. she was out.  I don’t mean to brag but I can push my babies out, that’s the one thing I know that happens quickly.  My sweet girl was 8.4 oz and 20.5 inches long, she was beautiful.  Holding her for the first time was incredible, looking into her eyes, hearing her sweet little cries, nothing is better than that moment.

Avree is a gem.  We are so in love with our little girl and Ryder loves her so much.  He has adjusted amazingly well to being a big brother.  He loves to kiss and hold her as long as she doesn’t cry, and lays next to her while she sleeps or plays on her mat, and Avree loves to be held and cuddled and sleep on her belly.  She sleeps 3 to 4 hours through the night, and wakes every 3 hours to eat.  Like clockwork, she's so predictable.  Its crazy how completely different my pregnancies, labor, and babies are.  She is the absolute perfect addition to our family.  Here's a few pictures, enjoy!

We were both very tired.

She was a big girl.

Kisses from big brother.

playing.

My Little Man.

Love her face.

Eviction Notice

You read that right. I officially have 9 days left until I get to meet my sweet little girl. We are down to single digits baby.  I am literally counting down the days until her arrival.  My due date is May 23, but I am hoping she takes after her big brother and comes at least a day early.  At this point I am all kinds of uncomfortable and sleep just evades me.  Today I had my last doctors appt. and for the last 2 weeks there hasn't been much change.  I am still only dilated to a 1 and my cervix is 50% effaced.  My doctor doesn't think I will be going into labor any time soon. (My doctor who delivered Ryder didn't think I would either and we scheduled an induction for Nov 7, my due date was Nov. 6 and he came Nov 5.)  I told her that I pretty much go into labor over night, at least I did with Ryder. Fingers crossed.  Either way if my daughter decides she's too comfortable in there by May 23, I am giving her the boot!  At least this way we know we will be holding our sweet little girl by May 24!!!

18 Months

This post is mainly for me.  I want to start jotting down things Ryder is doing on his "mile stones". Since my little man is 18 months, that means he's just 6 months away from being 2 and an official toddler.  He is still a VERY happy, smiley, laid back boy.

Things Ryder is into these days:
cars
playing with water/swimming
taking baths
playing fetch with our doggies
rocks and throwing them too
chasing our kitty around
loves to be outside and exploring everything
reading books
taking all of his toys out
helping his mommy with things around the house, in fact he really seems to enjoy doing the laundry, dishes, and sweeping and vacuuming
and helping his daddy fix things and using his daddy's tools


Ryder is also talking so much!! He knows all sorts of animal sounds, can point out animals in books, sings the alphabet (mostly sounds it out), he can count to 10, (again mostly he is just making the sounds from the numbers), he likes to play with puzzles, and loves to dance, especially bob is head when he hears rap or r&b.

Words Ryder says:
mom, momma
dad, dadda
grandma
doggie
kitty
out
no
bye
yea
moon
airplane
all done
hot
cold
please
mine
water
snack
book
car
night, night
shoes
mickey
nose
eyes
nana for banana
"no more monkeys jumping on the bed" and he points and shakes his hand
where is it
Jesus
amen

He loves going down slides

and trying to climb back up them.

Daddy taking Ryder under the water.

My Little Man <3

Should have known.

Nick is a pretty simple guy.  Sneakers, shirt, pants, and a hat.  He never does his hair, he's not into styling it and usually just shaves his head.  Although when I asked him a few months ago to grow his hair out just until our daughter was born so that he would have some hair for family pictures, he agreed.  Lately he's been saying how much he hates how long his hair is and how he's going to cut it.  Of course I didn't believe him, because we have such a short amount of time until our daughter arrives, I figured he could hold out. Not the case. On Mon I woke up extra early because of Ryder and by 11 I was so tired, I woke Nick up so he could hang out with Ryder while I took a nap.  Big mistake.  I wake up to the sound of clippers and roll out of bed to find his hair all over our bathroom floor, and a mohawk.

The only picture I have of him not wearing his hat. His hair was getting SO long.

The Mohawk. I'm kind of a fan, but I know that this was the only time he will ever put the time and effort into doing it, and sooner or later he will just shave it.

Catch-up

Worst. Blogger. Ever. I know, I suck.  Seems like my life has been in the fast lane and I haven't had the time to sit down and blog about everything that has gone on.. might as well as start somewhere, SO


First off we moved to Phoenix last September.  It was really hard at first to adjust and took a while to really give it a chance and make new friends.   It's not Vegas, where I have all my friends that I grew up with and they have babies Ryder's age or having my family right around the corner, but at least it's only a 5 hour drive, a phone call away, and facebook makes it so easy and convenient to keep in touch with everyone.  And now I have friends and people I have grown close with and Ryder has his little friends he plays with so I can't complain.  Not to mention I stay home with my baby, while Nick works so hard to provide for our family.  I'm pretty happy.  


We spent our first Thanksgiving on our own! No family, just us and a few close friends.  I baked the turkey for the first time ever and it was delicious.  It stayed moist and wasn't all dried out and the rest of everything else wasn't too bad either!  I'm getting excited thinking about this Thanksgiving.  Christmas was also spent out here and my mom came out for a week to be with us.  I love when she comes to visit and so does Ryder, he gets so excited when he sees her.  We are just so grateful she gets to make it out here often.  It's been hard not having any family out here, but it's even harder for me not having my mom.


Onto more recent news, my little man is 18 months!!! Say what?!  He is such a big little boy, talking so much, he's tough, loves playing in the water, although he has been a little weary about the splash pads lately, and eats EVERYTHING you put in front of him.  I just can't believe how he has turned into such a little toddler!  I still remember going into labor with him and his newborn stage, I cherish those moments so much and can't believe how fast time has gone by.  These are the times I am most grateful I have been able to stay home with him because time just flies by.  Ryder is also officially in nursery and enjoys it so much as long as Nick and I are in the room.  When we first started taking him (back when he was 17 months), we were able to leave and he was fine, but then we kept him in primary with us {we were called to teach the CTR 5s and LOVE our kids}. Ryder loved singing time and would go and sit with the sunbeams.  Big mistake.  Not being consistent every Sunday resulted in him not being able to stay in nursery without us.  So the next few Sundays I will be staying for the first hour of nursery while Nick is in primary, and then we switch and I teach our class and he stays in nursery.  It's been going well the last couple Sundays, I hope it sticks and he can get dropped off so Nick and I can both be with our primary class.


Last but certainly not least, for those of you who dont know, Ryder is going to be a BIG brother. We are expecting our second child in just a couple of weeks! We are adding a sweet baby GIRL to our family! We are so excited for her arrival, we cannot wait to hold and see her beautiful face.  My babies will be 18 1/2 months apart, just what Nick wanted, I would have liked them to be exactly 2 years apart, but someone up there had different plans.  So pretty much by the end of this month I will have 1 son and 1 daughter, I will be 23 and a mother of 2!!  It still feels almost unreal.  We will officially be a family of 6, if you count our two doggie boys :)  I can't believe my family is getting bigger and that we have been blessed with one of each.  Ryder is still the happiest and sweetest thing on this earth, with a smile that will melt any ones heart away. And soon our sweet girl will be here, who I have no doubt will be just as sweet and kind as her brother, but a tad bit more sassy ;) 

A Real Man

Back when Nick was hit on his street bike he had screws placed at the top of his leg and ankle and a rod placed in his tibia bone.  Long story short, the screws in his ankle have been bothering him for a while and every time he would walk for long periods at a time it would start to hurt.  Nick's doctor decided it would be best if they just took them out.  Nick was all for this except for one tiny thing, he was NOT willing going to go under general anesthesia.  So it pretty much came down to Nick saying you can take the screws out IF I don't have to go under, and the doctor agreed.  On the day of the "surgery"  Nick showed up and was at the hospital for 5 hours before being brought back to the OR because there was a huge mix up between the doctors office and the hospital.  Long story short they kept telling Nick that he had to be put under general anesthesia or the procedure wasn't going to happen.  The doctor came and said he didn't need to be under anesthesia and that they would use a local anesthetic to numb the area and then do the procedure.  They marked the leg that they were going to "operate" on with a YES and the other leg with a NO, shaved a tiny area, and wiped his leg with that yellow stuff to sanitize and kill off any bacteria.  Before starting the procedure the anesthesiologist in the room (he was on stand by just in case of an emergency) said that in his 15 years of being in the OR he has never seen a person who chose to be awake during a procedure like this.  Nick said that everyone in the room seemed fascinated to see this done and to see Nick's reaction to it all.  The doctor numbed the area, waited a few minutes and then cut open the skin where the screws were.  Nick said that after that, the doctor stuck his fingers in there and started digging around to find the first screw (that part of the entire thing was the worst part because the doctor was digging and he would hit the nerves and Nick could feel it), once he found it he had to burn off the tissue that grew over the screw and then he used a drill to get the screw out.  He did the exact same thing to the other area with the screw, stitched Nick back up and they were done.  The procedure took all of 5 minutes to perform.  Nick said that everyone in the room was so amazed that he actually went through the procedure awake, and as a token the doctor let Nick keep the 2 screws.  I could never imagine doing that myself or anyone for that matter, it takes a man to do something like that.

The screws in his leg.

Birthday Fun

My sweet Nicholas turned 22.  We spent the entire day together, SO MUCH FUN.  We started out his day by opening gifts and cards when he got home from work, I also baked a cake. We went to the Fashion Show, and I treated him to a little gift, some Oakley sunglasses, we walked around then we went to Town Square, ate at Claim Jumper and had desert at Yogurtland.  It was a perfect day.  Anyway happy birthday to you baby, we love you oh so much!!

Liquid Gold.

Did you know that breast milk stored in a separate deep freezer can be saved for 6 months.  That being said, I pumped and saved any extra milk Ryder didn't drink thinking I would be able to use it if I were to ever leave him or was sick.  First off I haven't left him and second what was I thinking he doesn't use/like bottles and lastly milk stored in a freezer that gets opened frequently is only good for 3 months.  So all of that pumping was kind of a waste of time.  I ended up throwing away over 80 oz.  Next time I think I should just sell it or donate it, after all breast milk is so much better than formula, someone will want it right?

My Heart Melts.

Literally.  Every time my baby boy smiles, I melt.  His smile is to die for.   He is the happiest baby on earth.  I can't even explain what his smile does to me.  He just makes me so happy and fills my heart with so much joy.  I am the luckiest mommy in the world to have him.  The only time he ever cries is if he is past his nap time, other than that he is so, so happy.  I'll show you what I mean.

Four Years.

On March 16, it will be four years since my dad passed away.  Four years.  I can't believe its been that long because it still seems like yesterday.  I can still see him in our house sleeping in his bed (snoring), walking past the computer room and seeing him play spider solitaire, on the couch reading because that's what he always did (he loved to read) and even at church during sacrament, singing (with his deep voice).  People have said that with time things will get better, it won't hurt as much (I guess that's a little true) it is better.  I don't cry and haven't cried every single day since the year he left, but EVERY day, not even one day will go by when I don't think about him.  Its like breathing. It's almost instinct that a memory or the thought of him (where he is at and what he is doing) comes into my mind.  Its been hard not having him here, being able to just talk and hear his voice.  Sometimes I wish there was a phone to heaven that I could pick up and call him just to hear him call me his "little one" if only that were possible.  I can't wait until we meet again, just to wrap my arms around him, but until that day comes, I know he is watching over me and my family.  I know he was able to meet and spend time with Ryder before Ryder came to this earth.  That in itself brings comfort and eases my thoughts and pain.  So to end this little post (because I can go on and on and the tears would keep coming like a waterfall) I want to share a poem I wrote for my dad after he passed away, which is the one that I read at his funeral.  And the reason I chose to write a poem is because my dad was a very poetic person. Not many people were able to see that side of him, but if you did, you would be amazed at the things he would write.

An Ode to My Father, From Your Daughter

By the hands of God

With his grace, he lifted you up

And took you from this space

You had been put to the test

With trials and all

What a fight you fought

Through it all

Loyal Servant of God

Never gave up

Always stood for what was right

You fought the good fight

You made the covenants 

To prove faithful

All of the blessings

Which you had recieved

This last blessing, oh the relief

We were all so pleased

Loyal servant of God

Oh how proud he would be

To see me now

The strength you have given me

To carry on

While you're gone

Until I see you again

Loyal servant of God

My father he be 

So Spiritual and free

He may lay at rest

And hope for the best

That I may follow in his steps

With courage, strength, and knowledge

To be the Daughter of God 

He expects me to be

As a loyal servant of God

My father you will always be

The covenants you kept faithfully

Waiting for me

I'll keep the promises I made

That our covenants may have permanency

For families are for Eternity

I LOVE YOU DAD

My First Pregnancy

39W6D

Being pregnant with Ryder was the most amazing experience ever.  I truly loved every moment of it.  I'm going to be one of those women who love being pregnant, everything seemed so easy.  I was so blessed to have a smooth and safe pregnancy and delivery.  So I figured I would write about the the day I had Ryder (lucky for me I kept a journal and Nick writing down every time the nurse and doctor came and did something).  To really get the whole aspect of how quickly I went into labor, I had a doctors appt. Wed. Nov. 3rd, and the doctor said I was barely dilated to a 1 and about 35% effaced (which means my cervix was thinned out a third of the way).  So we talked about being induced on Sunday night because my doctor really didn't expect me to go into labor on my due date which was Nov. 6th.  

I started having contractions Fri. Nov. 5th around 2 a.m. which was lower back pain, it wasn't horrible so I tried sleeping it off, changing positions, sitting up, everything, but the contractions started getting worse and worse and by 7 a.m. I decided to time these contractions.  By 8 a.m. I was timing them at every 5 to 7 minutes, and thought, I'm doing something wrong because these seem awfully close and I couldn't possibly be in labor considering my cervix wasn't very far along on Wed.  So I called my doctors office and told them how far apart I was timing my contractions and they told me I could come in at 10:30.  I tried not to get my hopes up, but I couldn't help but hope to have my baby that day.  We brought our hospital bag, and everything else, just in case we were lucky.  We get there and go back into a room and the doctor comes in and asks me how I'm feeling and the look on my face says it all, those contractions kept getting more intense, it was like I didn't have anytime to breath.  The doctor checked me and told me I was still only dilated to a 1, BUT that I was 85% effaced, and he couldn't believe how much had changed in only 2 days! He wanted to time my contractions to see exactly how I was progressing, so he hooked me up to a monitor and left us there for about 20 minutes and came back and told us that the contractions were about every 3 minutes and that I was in the early stages of labor, I was ecstatic to say the least, BUT there was one slight issue, the hospital won't admit anyone who isn't dilated to a 3, so my doctor told me he was going to  have to stretch my cervix out.  Say what, come again?  I was already having contractions that were 3 minutes apart and now you want me to lie flat on my back while you stretch my cervix out.  Lets just say that was probably one of the worst pains I have had my entire life, So much more painful than the contractions.  When he was done, he had called Summerlin and Valley Hospital to get us into a delivery room, but they were all booked until 2 p.m.  It was only 12:30 p.m. and we decided to go get some food and keep ourselves busy until  then.

We arrived at the hospital and had to wait a little longer because the room wasn't available just yet.  There I was sitting in an uncomfortable chair, having Nick rub a tennis ball and massage my lower back during my contractions until we were finally able to get admitted at 2:30 p.m.  Now heres where everything just speeds up from there.  I get ready, they hook an IV up into my arm, which hurt SO bad (I HATE needles) and monitor my contractions, as well as Ryder's heart.  At 3:00 the nurse hooks me up to some pitocin to make my contractions more regular.  At 4:00 I was dilated to a 4 and the doctor came in and broke my water, all this without an epidural.  But after that things just started becoming much more intense and closer together I felt like I wasnt able to get a break and focus on my breathing, so I finally opted for an epidural, which I originally didn't want, but with how fast and intense my contractions were, I really didn't care even despite the fact that I hate needles and heard some pretty bad reactions of the ep.  So the anesthesiologist finally came in at 6 p.m. and hooked everything up.  After about 15 minutes the contractions didn't hurt as bad, even though I was still able to feel them on my right side, I was comfortable and able to relax, it was heaven. For anyone who has any fears of it hurting, I didn't feel a thing when they numb you, or even when they put the 6 inch needle into your spine, but thats probably because my contractions hurt so much worse and I was focusing on breathing, getting through each one, and not moving so the anesthesiologist could get the needle in the right spot.  After the epidural the nurse came and checked me, at 6:30 I was dilated to an 8 and by 7:30 I was dilated to a 10.  Then it was a matter of waiting for my doctor to arrive because I wasnt going to let anyone deliver my baby but him.  After 3 pushes and 4 minutes later Ryder was born at 8:09 p.m. on November 5.  It was such an amazing experience giving birth, and seeing him for the first time.  To finally hold him after carrying him for 40 weeks, was just incredible.  The fact that Nick and I had a hand in creating him and bringing him into this world, words just can't describe how that feels.  I fell in love with him from the moment I laid eyes on him, and I keep falling more in love with him with each passing day.  There is no greater feeling in the world than being a mother, and I am so grateful that I get to be his mother.

7 lbs 9 oz and 20.5 in

A love beyond measure &hearts;

3 months

I can't believe it has been 3 whole months since Ryder was born!  I mean he is 3 MONTHS OLD, where does the time go? Please stop passing by so quickly!!  Ryder is such a sweet and happy little baby, he is always smiling! I am so blessed and grateful to have such a sweet boy.  I love my little man, I can't believe how I was ever able to live without him before.  I grow more and more in love with him each day.  Life just isn't the same, it's SO much better! So Ryder at 3 months is

-still sleeping in his cradle in mommy and daddys room (the thought of him sleeping in another room gives me anxiety)
-sleeps through the night (has been since 8 weeks old)
-talks like crazy
-holds his head when he's sitting up (he's still a little wobbly)
-still hates being on his tummy (always has)
-smiles like crazy
-loves watching baby einsteins 
-loves taking baths 
-kicks his legs like he's about ready to run
-loves being read to (I'm not sure if he loves it so much as I do)
-rolls onto his side when he's on his back
-doesn't take a pacifier and spits them out (has since he was born)
-loves his doggies


So thats about what Ryder is up to these days, he lets me get a good nights rest, 8 full uninterrupted hours (be jealous) a night and makes me smile every single day, all day long.  And even though it is completely sad to me that he is getting bigger, I love being able to see him grow and learn new things.

He is one very happy baby.

Fell asleep in daddys arms.

Enjoying his little bath.

Daddy

Mommy

The only time he's ever crying is when he's tired.

it's life

I have been married for a little over a month now.  Being married is great, I LOVE calling Nick my husband and I LOVE that we are a family.  But things didn't go exactly the way I had planned.  Before I was even engaged I got my wedding dress. When Nick and I did get engaged on February 13, six days later Nick was in motorcycle accident (I won't go into details) 2 surgeries and a week later he was released.  A week after Nick was out of the hospital we found out we were having a baby. We were so, SO excited, and I was a little shocked.  I mean just 2 weeks ago Nick was in a accident, not to mention he had a broken leg and now we're expecting?!  We were still so happy and couldn't wait to have our baby.  I was supposed to be planning and preparing for a wedding, not something I was very interested in doing because I was pregnant! What's more exciting than feeling your baby move, doctors appointments, and ultrasounds?  After months of procrastination, at 9 months pregnant I had only six weeks to prepare for our wedding, not to mention [I was NOT going to fit into my dress].  Our son was born just five weeks before our wedding, and things were finally starting to fall into place.  Thanks to our wonderful family, we had an amazing day.  So even though it didn't go the way I had envisioned or the way it was supposed to, (baby before being married) I wouldn't change it for the world.  It's OUR LIFE and we love it just the way it is.